written the night of August 26th, 2006 -- the night after Mason was born.
Dear Mason,
Well, my beautiful baby boy, you are finally here. You were born on August 25th, 2006 at 3:16 pm. You have a perfect head of thick dark brown hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes. You weighed 7 pounds and 15 ounces.
You didn't make your way into this world easily. Mama and you had to fight and had a long labor and delivery. We got to the hospital around 8:30 pm on the night of the 24th. After we got all checked in with the nurses they hooked me up to a monitor to watch your heartbeat and movement. Mama was in a lot of pain with the contractions so they gave me a quick dose of some sort of medicine through the IV so the pain would be lessened while we waited for the anesthesiologist to give Mama her epidural. Whatever they gave me was so fun! Mama remembers the room feeling like it was underwater and that the nurses and Dad were laughing at me because I kept saying silly things that didn't make sense to anyone but me. Our nurse that first night was Patti, and we liked her a lot because she joked around and was funny and Southern with a great accent.
Most of the night Dad and I just sat in our room and talked about you and how excited we were. We watched the Angel game on TV, where the Angels lost to the Red Sox, 2-1. Josh Beckett was pitching against Jered Weaver, and it was a great game. Weaver is a rookie this year and the loss tonight was his first. A very good player, David Ortiz hit a home run that was the difference in the game. Dad hopes that you are going to be a big baseball fan! He was talking to you through Mama's tummy giving you updates on the game.
Around 11 pm we met our Doctor, Dr. Pugmire. He came in to check on Mama and see how we were progressing. He decided to break the bag of waters to see if we could speed you along. That seemed to help because a few hours later you were closer to coming. The anesthesiologist came to our room around 1 in the morning to give Mama the epidural to help with the pain. He was a very direct and to-the-point Doctor who wasn't very personable and Mama was a little bit scared that it was going to hurt. They had Dad kneel on the floor in front of me and hold my hands and my head and talk to me so I didn't move. It ended up not hurting at all and Mama felt the precious drugs immediately!
Then more waiting. Throughout the whole night we talked and kept an eye on your monitor and finally were able to doze off for a little sleep. Dad forgot there was a bed in the room for him and ended up sleeping all scrunched up on the little sofa! Dad was also so cold in the room he ended up driving home to get 2 sweaters! Mama, on the other hand, was sweating profusely in her bed. I can't imagine why he was so cold! In the morning they brought Dad some breakfast and I was jealous because I couldn't eat anything but ice chips. The Doctor checked on us again and we hadn't made any more progress then from when he last checked. Mama was also starting to be in a lot of pain again so they called the anesthesiologist back to check on me. This was a different Doctor and he turned out to be one of our favorite people of the whole experience. He joked around with us and laughed and teased us that he got his degree on the Internet! He found out that Dad was a scientist and liked Genetics and told him that he'd hire him to help with patients because they were a little bit busy in the hospital that morning. He really helped calm Mama and Dad down and be able to not be so scared. He gave me some different medicine and it started to work right away.
Then we waited and waited and waited to see what you were going to do. The Doctor that was going to deliver you, Dr. Kelly, came in around 2:00 and checked on Mama and told us that we hadn't progressed any since that morning, even with a really strong drug called Pitocin that Mama had been on to help with contractions. She asked if we would consider a C-Section to deliver you. She said that we didn't have a lot of time to think about it because she could fit us in at 2:30 for surgery. Mama and Dad agreed and right away there was a lot of quick activity because this meant you were going to be here soon! The Dr told us "you're going to have that baby in your arms within 45 minutes!". Right at that moment Grandpa and Grandma Singleton arrived at the hospital so we asked the nurses if we could have a quick private moment with them because Mama was a little bit scared of the C-section. We got hugs from them and said a family prayer that everything with you and the surgery on Mama would go OK. They helped Mama stop crying and to not be so nervous. Then they had to leave the room so the nurses could get me ready for the surgery. We had a great nurse named Caley that was just learning and she was being helped out by an older nurse named Luanne. The anesthesiologist came back to give Mama more strong meds for the surgery and to calm me down a little bit with his jokes and smiles and playing around. Dad had to change into some blue scrubs with shoe protectors and a little hat and a face mask. He was so nervous he broke one of the strings on the hat and had to knot it together. Then the nurses put Mama onto a hammock-like contraption that transfered me from the labor bed onto the bed for the OR and before we knew it we were being whisked down the hallway to surgery. I vaguely remember seeing Grandmas face in the hallway but by the time we got to the room things were getting a little swimmy again.
They had to prepare Mama for surgery and so Dad had to sit in the hallway in a bright red chair until they called him in. They had to take me out of the hammock and put me on the bed where they strapped down my legs to the bed. I remember them telling me they were going to feel incredibly heavy, and they did, like they were made out of cement. They put my arms straight out sideways from my body and put some heavy, warm blankets on them. They gave me an oxygen mask and a cover for my hair. I remember the elastic on the mask was pulling on my ear and it was bothering me but I couldn't seem to find the words to ask anyone to fix it for me. I remember Caley being instructed by the other nurse on how to wipe down Mama's belly with the sterile formula. "Wipe left, right, left, right, then up. Left, right, left, right, then up." Mama remembers this so clearly. It seemed to take forever. Then they had to put some saran-wrap type stuff on my belly for more sterilness. The last thing they had to do was double check that Mama was completely numb in the belly area that they needed to make the cut. The anesthesiologist showed Mama a long needle that he said he was going to poke around gently on my tummy to see if I could feel it. I could feel a little pressure in a few places and then Bam! I could feel the prick. Then Bam! another prick. He started to get a little concerned because there was no rhyme or reason to the places that I could feel the pricking. It seemed that I could feel more of what was going on on the left side then the right side, but even then the coverage of the numbness was spotty. He decided that he'd better use some local anesthetic to make sure that I couldn't feel. So, some more medicine! He waited for a few minutes then did the needle-prick test again, this time it was much better and I couldn't feel anything anywhere. We were ready to go!
Finally the anesthesiologist called Dad back into the room and told him to come sit by Mama's head. They were going to make the incision before they let Dad stand up and watch. They said they didn't need to be dealing with a fainting Dad with everything else going on. One of the nurses asked Dad for the camera so she could take pictures for us and wouldn't you know it in all the hurry we forgot to grab the camera. Even though he wasn't supposed to let Dad out of the sterile environment and then back in, the anesthesiologist was nice and told Dad he had 30 seconds to run back down to the waiting room and get the camera. I'm sure Dad just tore down the hallway because he was back so fast. We were so lucky that they let him go! When he got back he had to sit back by Mama's head so they could make the incision. Dad said he saw a knife like sawing tool and could hear them making the cut. Then Dr. Yu and Dr. Kelly told him if he wanted to look he could. I remember asking him to hold my hand because I was scared I was going to feel something painful. I remember them pulling and tugging on my stomach just like someone was trying to tear my socks off or something. It didn't hurt at all. I remember Dad taking a couple of pictures and then handing the camera off to the anesthesiologist. More tugging and pulling and then FINALLY the sweet, sweet sound of your voice came through all the hustle of the OR. You were screaming! I could hear you but not see you yet, I kept looking over towards my left side to the warming bed where I knew they were going to take you. Finally I saw them plop you down into the bed and I just burst into tears.
I couldn't see you very well through the IV and the nurses but just to know you were over there and breathing and crying was so overwhelming. Dad was still by me and he kept kissing me on the forehead and saying that you were beautiful. I got mad at him and told him to leave me and get his butt over to where you were.
I could see them taking your weight and length and then I saw them letting Dad cut the umbilical cord. He looked so proud!
The Dr. asked me how I was doing and told me that they were going to start putting me back together and if I could feel anything. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable again and that worried them, so they decided that for the rest of the surgery and the stitching back up they were going to put me out completely. They let me see you first and plopped you on my stomach. I remember holding onto your belly so tight I was scared of you rolling off, even though Dad had a hold of you too. The first time I saw you I just thought you were so perfect. I remember most being surprised by your dark hair. You had your eyes closed so I couldn't see the color of them, but I was so happy that you had chubby cheeks just like I had when I was a baby.
They told us to look to our right so they could take a picture of us all together as a family. Then they whisked you away again and I felt the coldness go through my IV again and then I was asleep.
The next thing I remember was them asking me if I could hold you so we could go down to the recovery room. It seemed like just seconds before I was holding you but they told me it had been about 25 minutes. They had put all my insides back together and stitched me up and put staples in my abdomen to hold the incision together. Dad told me that during this time he got to hold you and cuddle you and talk to you.
He said that something was going on that was puzzling the Dr's, that anytime they worked on my left side, you would cry out like something was hurting you. When they stopped or moved to the right side, you stopped. It was like we were still connected somehow and you were feeling the pain that I was feeling on my left side, too. Dad said he knew by this that we had a very strong connection to each other. Finally they asked me again if I was ready to hold you so we could leave the OR and I was so excited to get to spend some time with you.
They handed me you all bundled up in your blue blanket with the little blue striped hat on and we started wheeling down the hallway. There were tons of nurses lining the walls and everyone was congratulating us and clapping and smiling. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. We got to a small little room and they just let me, you and Dad sit together for a little while as a new family. I remember still feeling a little loopy because of all the drugs but I felt so calm and so happy to finally get to hold you in my arms. I didn't want anyone else to hold you or take you from me.
Mason, from that day all the way back in December when we found out we were going to have a baby we knew that you were going to be the best thing to happen to us. Your birth day was the most special day that we have ever had together. Even with all the craziness and long waiting periods and unexpected surgery and pain that came with it, we wouldn't trade anything to not have you with us now. The moment you were born we both felt more complete then ever before, I knew I was meant to be your Mama and that Dad was meant to be your Dad. We know that you came from heaven and that you were chosen to be our son and no one else's. We both love you more than I know how to put into words. I'll never be able to describe how it feels to see you smile at me, or to see your Dad hold you and talk to you and hug you. The love that the three of us share is more special and pure and perfect than anything I could have ever imagined it to be.
I love you.
Love, Mama
